近日，保送復(fù)旦的學(xué)霸黃恬靜和她媽媽的故事，在網(wǎng)絡(luò)上引發(fā)了熱議……十多年來，黃媽媽為了女兒的學(xué)習(xí)放棄了單位旅游以及所有的同學(xué)、同事聚會(huì)，家里的電視機(jī)十幾年都沒開過。

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中國自古就有 “孟母三遷”的故事，到了現(xiàn)代，又有靠嚴(yán)厲管教把女兒送入哈佛的 “虎媽”。

很多中國媽媽為了子女的教育犧牲個(gè)人生活，把教育子女看作頭等大事，母愛的犧牲精神的偉大和感人值得每一個(gè)兒女銘記，但是這樣的母愛真的能幫助孩子健康成長嗎？會(huì)不會(huì)造成什么不良的影響呢？

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以下是Global Times (Metro Shanghai)近期刊登的一篇評論，文中部分內(nèi)容配有中文翻譯。文末有小投票喲，歡迎大家參與！No need for Chinese mothers to abandon their social livesA touching story about a mother giving up all her social activities for the past 10 years to help her daughter focus on her studies went viral on social media recently. Huang Tianjing, a top student from Nanjing, capital of East China's Jiangsu Province, was admitted into Fudan University and exempted from a pre-admission exam. Her mother said this was a result of her spending all her free time with Huang over the past decade, completely forsaking her own social life and personal hobbies.

It is not uncommon for Chinese mothers to consider their children the most important - or even the only important - thing in their life. But I still want to express my serious misgivings about whether mothers should really put their own lives on hold in order to devote themselves to their children's upbringing.

大多數(shù)中國的媽媽們都把自己的孩子視作她們?nèi)松��?dāng)中最重要的、甚至唯一重要的事情。媽媽們犧牲自己的個(gè)人生活，全身心投入到撫養(yǎng)孩子這件事情上，但是我還是很懷疑，媽媽們這么做究竟有好處嗎？

Oftentimes in modern Chinese society, children feel that they are not studying for themselves but for their parents. I speak from experience as a 20-something university student in Shanghai. We no longer are studying out of our own curiosity and interests, but rather out of fear. Fear that we may disappoint our parents, who hope we will succeed and become above-average. How can one possibly study well or live happily under such immense pressure to please someone else?現(xiàn)在很多小孩覺得學(xué)習(xí)不是為自己，而是為了父母；不是出于興趣和好奇心學(xué)習(xí)，而是迫于壓力，害怕他們會(huì)讓父母失望（他們總是希望我們能成功）。在這樣巨大的壓力下，他們怎么可能好學(xué)習(xí)，更不可能無憂無慮地生活。A mother's devotion may even prevent her child from having his or her own friends.One who grows up in a family where parents constantly hover over them like a helicopter probably has no free time to socially engage with other kids their age.

母親無微不至地關(guān)注還可能導(dǎo)致小孩沒有自己的朋友，父母像直升飛機(jī)一樣時(shí)刻在上面關(guān)注孩子的一舉一動(dòng)，孩子可能都沒法與同齡人交流。

I have noticed that my nephew, who is 6 years old, clutches onto her mother and shies away from other children at family functions. He seems discouraged from interacting with anyone his age, as he is used to depending on his parents for conversation and stimulation.

Worse still, this sort of anti-social behavior becomes amplified as the child grows older. By the time they enter university, many such young people are completely introverted. By the time they enter the job market, they simply do not know how to interact and communicate with others on a professional or social level.

孩子長大后，這樣社交能力的下降可能導(dǎo)致更嚴(yán)重的后果，比如，進(jìn)入大學(xué)以后變得內(nèi)向，進(jìn)入職場后，不管涉及業(yè)務(wù)溝通還是日常交流，不知道如何與同事互動(dòng)。

In an article published recently by China Youth Daily, concerns were raised about a new trend among middle-aged mothers from small towns who have adult children working in big cities such as Shanghai who are moving in. One young woman interviewed in the article complained that her mother insists on preparing lunch for her every day, which limits her chances of socializing with her work colleagues during lunch time.

《中國青年報(bào)》前不久刊登了一篇文章，談到了中國的媽媽們開始“陪工”，他們從小城市搬到子女工作的大城市去照顧他們。接受采訪的一個(gè)年輕姑娘說，她媽媽每天非要給她準(zhǔn)備午飯，導(dǎo)致她都不能和同事一起吃午飯，她認(rèn)為“這是必要的同事社交”。

One of my friends, a mother of two girls, works at a large company, but now she is considering quitting her lucrative and rewarding career to devote more time to her daughters' education. To me, that just doesn't make any sense.

This kind of self-sacrifice is also a detriment to the mothers' own life quality. Young mothers who give up all their own interests and career just to tend to their adolescents' studies probably don't have a happy future once their child leaves the nest for college. With nothing else to occupy their time, imagine how lonely and bored they will become.

這種自我犧牲，還會(huì)危及媽媽自己的生活質(zhì)量。年輕的媽媽們?yōu)榱俗约汉⒆拥膶W(xué)業(yè)，放棄了自己的職業(yè)、興趣，一旦他們的孩子離開她們，那么他們的生活也將變得沒有樂趣了。空虛的生活，大概無法想象她們的生活會(huì)變得多么孤獨(dú)和無聊。

Fortunately, my own mother maintained her social life and hobbies throughout my childhood. Now that I am away at university, she is quite active and has recently signed up for yoga classes.

In the long run, the development of Chinese society as a whole could possibly be held back by this sort of over-nurturing of children.

It's time for Chinese parents to back off and let their child sink or swim on their own. Yes, encourage them to study and learn good personal habits, but also allow them some leisure time to have friends and explore life on their own. This will benefit the child and the parent equally, as it will allow both to develop their own interests, hobbies and friendships.

中國父母是時(shí)候放手，讓他們的孩子自主沉浮。激勵(lì)孩子好好學(xué)習(xí)，引導(dǎo)他們養(yǎng)成良好的個(gè)人習(xí)慣，但是也要讓他們有自己的時(shí)間，去探索自己的生活。這不僅對孩子有益，對父母也一樣大有好處，因?yàn)樗麄兛梢元?dú)立地發(fā)展自己的興趣愛好，建立自己的朋友圈。

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